Avoidant Attachment Style

Most people have never heard of avoidant attachment and it is extremely important to understand this type of attachment so you know whether you do this or if you are in a relationship with someone who behaves in this way. Avoidant attachment is the avoidance of intimacy, emotions, and confrontation. There are a lot of aspects to a relationship that are emotional, and people who use avoidant attachment avoid them because that is how they were programmed early in life.

This is yet another childhood trauma. Children learn through repetition that it is not ok to feel so they learn to avoid and suppress their emotions. Typically, the adults the child had around them growing up were not emotionally available or were unresponsive to what the child needed to feel whole and healthy.

Children need to connect with their parents or caregivers, and have a yearning to be close to them. Over time the child learned that the adults were not able to give them what they needed so they stopped yearning for that closeness. They also stopped expressing themselves emotionally. The child did not learn that they are amazing and loved. They were not shown affection whether that be hugging, touching or kissing.

Perhaps the child grew up in an environment where the adults were uncomfortable with feelings. They could not express their fears, worries or sadness. The adult in…