How To Break The Cycle of Abuse

We can be stuck in the cycle of abuse for years, even after we leave an abusive relationship. When we experience toxic and abusive behaviors, especially in childhood, those behaviors, thoughts, and actions can carry their way into our adult life and relationships.

The Cycle of Abuse

The cycle of abuse contains four elements:

Building tension

When tensions begin building because of work, family, health, and so on. These stressors can lead to feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and anger. If we are the person who is at risk of being on the receiving end, we could feel anxious, hyper-vigilant, and like we are walking on eggshells.

The incident of abuse

Abuse can come in a variety of ways, from mental, emotional, and physical. The person may result in name-calling, threats, destroying property, and manipulation.

Reconciliation

In this phase, the tension begins to lessen, and the abuser attempts to move past the abuse. The abuser could love-bomb or use gifts to try to “show” you that they are sorry and that things will get better. The attempt here is to re-establish their connection with you.

The Calm